10 Reasons I Will NEVER Do a List Post

Writing that title was an exercise in masochism

Everything I hate about writing on the internet is summed up in that title. It implies that the article will be a glorified bullet list, one of the words is annoyingly capitalized… all it needs is a GIF and it could be world-class BuzzFeed material. However to fit into a site like that the article would have to be less than 300 words and have a GIF response for every single item on the list. Things I couldn’t bring myself to do even in the name of satire.

Perhaps you can tell already, but I really hate that kind of article and, unfortunately, it is where writing on the internet is headed. And since journalism becomes more digital and editors realize list article with GIFs get views… well you can check out The Washington Post for a sneak peek.

Dear readers, this kind of writing is the epitome of lazy. It’s sole merit is that it is easy to consume and, in a culture that is more or less founded on consumption, that is more than enough. List articles help the bottom line, they bring in easy views, they take less than a minute to read (so the reader can move on to another list article)… all these things are great if your sole goal is subscribers and likes. But it contributes to the slow decline of hobby writing and online journalism.

The internet has so much potential for helping new writers, young and old, find audiences and, perhaps, be discovered. But if these writers don’t hone their skill here, but instead fish for views, their writing ability will deteriorate. Treat your blog or website like a journal, but not as a ‘Tommy pulled my braid yesterday in class’ kind of journal but the kind of journal Robert Falcon Scott wrote – something you would be proud to show someone or, at least, not embarrassed (by the writing quality I mean, it being a journal the content could be embarrassing by definition!). All writing ought to be treated as a chance to improve or to entertain the reader. When you write and email let the goal be to make it memorable, let the reader think ‘this is how people used to write.’

In the past letters were often written with the kind of flair and attention one would dedicate to a public work (which is odd in a way as if you are writing a private letter you obviously care more about the recipient than the general public at large. Why would your letter be less polished than a public work?). Pliny the Younger is best known for his brilliant letters, Cicero’s letters have been studied for generation, a large part of the bible is made up of letters.

‘I thought this was about list posts, what do letters have to with this?’ you ask. My point is all writing is an example to show your skill and a challenge to make your topic interesting. It is also a chance to succeed as a writer. If you are writing list posts about cats and filling half the page with GIFs, then you have given up on actually writing and are now merely marketing in the hope of internet points.

Whether writing a blog post that 5 people will see, a letter to your mother, or a cover letter for a job application – take pride in your writing. Use it as an opportunity – the topic is mundane mais qui s’en fout? That just makes it more of a challenge and a greater chance for improvement.

Pride can be a weakness, but have enough that you can hold yourself above such shoddy writing and say ‘I know I can do better than that and I want to better than that.’